If you're like me, from time to time you need to park a spare $90,000 in cash from a delicate and, shall we say, undocumented transaction. The wad of cash is too thick to fit through the deposit slot at the ATM machine, so where are you going to keep it all? We've all had this problem before. Happens to normal, everyday, law-abiding citizens all the time. Until now, I always hid my cash in the freezer, but everybody knows about that spot because that's where Congressman Bill Jefferson kept his spare change. I have found the perfect solution: the iceberg lettuce safe. Yes, you heard me right, a safe shaped like a "realistic looking" head of iceberg lettuce. That's an actual picture of the safe, not a real head of lettuce, on the left. The bottom of it detaches to reveal a secret hidden compartment. More details and ordering information here and here.