Monday, July 16, 2007

Top Ten David Vitter Excuses

10. I was just looking for Ted Kennedy -- he's at the brothel every day.
9. I was just enjoying a glass of wine and pleasant conversation for $300 an hour.
8. I'm addicted to Wendys.
7. Louisiana voters have elected Bill Jefferson, Ray Nagin, Eddie Jordan and Kathleen Blanco -- they have even worse standards than I do.
6. The hookers all speak very fondly of me. I'm one of their favorite johns.
5. I am a gay American.
4. Wendy (my wife, not my whore) is going to Lorena Bobbitt me -- isn't that punishment enough?
3. I oppose gay marriage, not straight married guys visiting whorehouses. I never said I opposed that. I am not a hypocrite.
2. Bill Clinton was a regular there. They named a bedroom after him.
1. Doesn't everybody pay hookers $300 an hour to dress them in diapers?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny!

The German said...

Good stuff. I didn't hit me that his wife and the NO hooker had the same name. At least he wouldn't call out the wrong name in bed.

oyster said...

He knew the NO hooker as Leah, as they did business for almost a year. One year he insisted to know her real name, and she told him. He said "Omigod, that's my wife's name" and stopped seeing her. I guess it was too intense, them having the same name.

anne said...

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NolaMom said...

pretty good

Nola Blogger said...

The name thing is odd, especially if it led him to break up with the hooker.